Alternative writings

kippurbird @ 2008-05-14T17:57:00

2008-05-15T00:58:10Z

kippurbird @ 2008-05-14T10:15:00

2008-05-14T17:28:23Z

New idea.

Yes, another one.

A collection of short stories I've written with critical essays about them, by me.

Yes, I know. I'm weird.

kippurbird @ 2008-05-12T22:50:00

2008-05-13T05:52:46Z

I'm writing up stuff for an On-Line Star Wars campaign that I'm doing and started thinking about how I'd make a RPG system for my own particular world. This is a scary thing. I'm not sure if it's a good idea. But I already have class ideas. And things.

Also, I'm caving and thinking about getting a Facebook.

I become a small furry weasel

2008-05-12T20:24:43Z

Chapter 27 pt.2

Everyone has left Anita. Yay. One of the were's a Cisco, who's about eighteen, gets all jittery about having to help Anita with the bandages and things. He gets yelled at for noticing Anita's boobs. Which is why you don't have an eighteen year old guard a naked woman. Even if they are a were and not supposed to notice this stuff. It's the hormones. You know? Anyway Cisco gets sent to guard the coffins and send someone else up. A wise idea considering that Cisco is ogling, but they shouldn't have put him on Anita guard duty in the first place.

Remus deals with Anita's vampire bite, by taping it up and Jean-Claude goes, "Are you so ashamed of us that you would hide our mark of favor under bandages and tape?"

Now, I had a bit of a quandary with this statement after a bit, I decided that there was nothing wrong with it in the first place. Then I realized what bothered me about it. It's only now that Jean Claude realizes that Anita bandages up her bites. He has been feeding from her, I'm sure, so why hasn't he noticed it. Or has she not been bandaging it and now for some reason she has and only for this statement. This statement then allows us to tangent onto a discussion of vampire bites. For about a page.

They continue on this vein -hah- of random talking. Which sort of comes out of nowhere, really. Jean-Claude tries to kiss Anita, and she doesn't want to, but I can't tell why she doesn't want to. And then he randomly says that he wants Richard and Anita to embrace their true selves. In this case it means, Anita feeding the arduer from Requiem.

He wants her to keep her promise to potentially mindfuck Requiem again. And so does Requiem.

"Your power rises, and you are more like Belle Morte," Requiem said, and he sounded sad.

I glanced at him. "What are you talking about?"

Requiem answered, "Belle used to promise to feed the ardeur on us, then say she had not meant it right this moment, but later, always later. Later could be very late indeed when she wished to play cruel games."

"I'm not playing, I said "I'm scared."

"If you feed from him, and he becomes besotted again, then you cannot feed off of any of the pomme de sang candidates. We will show them Requiem's state of mind and tell them you have grown too powerful for such games."

"And if he doesn't fall under my spell again?" I asked.

"Then you may taste some of the candidates without sex."

As opposed to with sex which appears to besot them automatically. Though besot seems to be putting it lightly. But still look! Anita has a valid point! And a valid emotional response! Mark it off on the calender, because I don't think we'll be seeing it again for a while. And what's worse, Jean-Claude and Requiem are pushing Anita into doing something she doesn't want to do by making her feel guilty. Jean-Claude continues on this track of guilt, trying to appeal to her logic.

"Anita" - my name, not good -"We must know how dangerous you are before Augustine wakes for the day. If you can feed from Requiem and not bespell him, then you can free Augustine. But if Requiem is not free, then he, and Augustine, will be like humans we have let go, but we know that we can call them to us at any time. We take away our mid spell to please the human police, but we know which ones are so deeply ours that we can still whisper in their dreams. We can still call them." He stood at the foot of the bed, letting me see how scared he was, but under that fear was eagerness. "If we can control this, then we are powerful beyond my wildest dreams. If we cannot control this, the we are dangerous beyond my deepest fears. If Requiem falls under the arduer again, then we must cancel everything. I dare not even take you to the ballet among so many vampires.

Just a thought, but why can't they see if they can unbesot Augustine when he wakes up with out mind fucking Requiem again? I mean, one really doesn't have to do anything with the other. Jean-Claude is making an argument that sounds logical. An if -then statement. But it's rather like If all birds can fly then bats are birds. It's perfectly logical statement. Bats can fly, birds can fly, but bats are not birds. So the statement is a true false statement. (Ah logic class, how I miss you so). He's trying to make it seem logical so that Anita will concede to his demands. After all, he really is eager. I think that the emotion under the fear is the true emotion and he's damn eager to see if he can use this weapon to his advantage. He says "we" but they are his dreams.

My final point is... why do they need to cancel the ballet if Anita is out of control? Couldn't she have an important "work call" and have to beg off going? Thus they can do the ballet without any problems in regards to Anita's sex power.

Anita begins to cave as Jean-Claude continues to pressure her. He wants her to feed the sex power as in "Feed, feed, ma petite. He is not ugly. Feed upon him, completely, no tasting, no holding back. Feed, and if he can withstand it, then the ballet tonight goes on, the party after."

Again this continuing mentioning of beauty as an incentive. I wonder if the person was ugly would they not be effected so much by the sex power? Why would this even part of her decision? Beyond the fact that she only seems to have sex with pretty people (not handsome, mind you, but pretty.) It seems horribly prejudice that she should only have sex with pretty people. Now that I think about it, there's a lot of prejudice in this book, it's just non-standard.

We continue on this random line of logic when Jean-Claude says that he wants her to just fuck Requiem and see what happens. Anita doesn't like this, because she doesn't do one night stands. See, she's not planning on keeping Requiem. Keeping sort of sounds like a slave, doesn't it? Also, she doesn't sleep with a person just once. So they decide that Requiem will be a fuck buddy. The most hilarious exchange happens when they decide this.

"Think of him as you think of Jason. What did he call himself, your fuck buddy?"

I raised my eyebrows at him, then turned and looked at Requiem. "Did you hear that?"

"I did."

"Do you understand what the term means?"

"It means someone who is your friend, that you sometimes have sex with, but it is not a relationship. Though I prefer the term fib for it."

"Fib?" I made it a question.

"Friends in bed, fib."

I absolutely love how how she has to ask Requiem if he knows what a fuck buddy means, and not only that but if he heard. I mean they're not whispering, they're having a conversational tone conversation. (Redundant Kippur is redundant), so unless Requiem suddenly became deaf, he would have heard them. Then the fact that she has to ask him as if he was a child if he knew what the term meant. Perhaps the prettier you are, the dumber you get? Now that I think about it, it seems like everyone is a fuck buddy for Anita. I don't think she has one meaningful relationship. It's all shallow sex, despite what she says. The one meaningful relationship that she might have is with Richard.

They agree to be fuck buddies and Requiem is all poetic like and says, basically, come fuck me. She looks at Requiem and doesn't feel anything. (Not that she supposed to, they're just going to fuck) and thinks "He was pretty, but pretty had never been enough for me."

Riiiiight. And I'm a mongoose. The fact that she only has sex with pretty people, only seems to care about their looks completely refutes that statement like a cleric rebukes undead. It's the one thing she comments on when she describes people. The only thing. How they look, how pretty they are.

Asher slides in which begins another scene, so, I'm going to do that one next. Damn this is a ridiculously long chapter.

Hey look. Blake.

2008-05-10T06:54:34Z

Chapter twenty seven. Pt1

Anita starts to try and free Requiem, but then stops and digresses. She asks if Requiem would do whatever she wanted, which they don't know. Then this lovely bit ensues:

"I wouldn't do it to any of our people on purpose, but sometimes I'm on a my own in a nest of vamps that I'm supposed to kill. They get testy about stuff like that. I'm just wondering if I could raise the ardeur as a weapon? Is there a way to make it an asset instead of a disaster?"

London frowned at me, but said, "I don't believe you, Anita."

"London," Elinore said, "never use that tone again with her."

"I've seen what the ardeur can do, Elinore. You haven't, not really." His face tightened in likes of anger so raw it almost hurt to see it. "I've seen my face look like Requiems's. I remember what it feels like." His hands gripped the bedpost until the skin changed color, just a bit. The mottling would be more after he fed. The wood creaked in protest, and he dropped his hands. "Part of me still wants to feel like that. It's like being on a drug all the time. Being pleasantly high, pleasantly happy. It may not be real happiness, but it's hard to tell when you're in the middle of it." He hugged himself tight. "The world is a colder, darker place without it. But with it, you're a slave. A slave to someone who makes you do things..." He shook his head, so hard it looked dizzying.

"Maybe London should go before I start this," I said.

London has just told Anita that being enslaved to the ardeur is the worst thing in the world you can do to a person. It's like the ultimate drug that you can't get over even if you are freed from it. You always want it and the only reason why you can't get it is because there's a limited supply. Not only that but enslaving people willingly is a horrible and disgusting thing to do, even if Elinore seems to think that Anita should be able to do what she wants.

Anita's response to London's admonishes? Go away. She doesn't care about the morality of it all. Even if she's upset that she's accidentally enslaved Requiem, she's perfectly willing to enslave others. London says that he will stay to see if he can resist her feeding the ardeur . The fact that he wants to stay and potentially addict himself to it again is not a good thing. Having heard that Anita should have insisted he leave. But she lets him stay, making him promise that he'll leave if it gets to much for him. Her reasoning for it? "Because I'm going to have enough trouble freeing Requiems' mind; I don't want to have to do it twice today." Her motives are completely selfish. It's not that she doesn't want him enslaved because it would be a horrible thing to have happen to him, but because she doesn't want to deal with the work.

Finally, we begin to try and free Requiem after all this blathering. She starts calling to him. In that horribly cliche way of trying to get to him. His real him that's been trapped by something. In this case the ardeur. It's never questioned that maybe his personality has been completely changed. Or that there's no him to bring back. It's not like he put on the helm of alignment change. Those are always neat. You put it on and you automatically become the opposite alignment that you were. You don't want to change and will resist all attempts to do so. But I digress. Those sorts of things never happen in books like this. There's always the "real" person hidden underneath.

On a secondary digression, this reminds me of a lot of parents with autistic children. They're often convinced that if they find the right drug, diet, cure that their real child which is buried underneath the shell of autism will appear. They don't realize that there isn't anything there but the autistic child.

Anita calls Requiem saying "come to me" with her necromancy powers. This apparently wasn't specific enough because all the vampires in the room were trying to come to her.

"I would be more specific with your calls, if I were you. You told only Requiem to stop. The others are still compelled." [Jean-Claude] motioned at the other vampires. London had a death grip on the bedpost. He looked panicked. Wicked and Truth were fighting at the edge of the bed. Truth wanted to get on, and Wicked was holding his brother back. Truth looked scared, and Wicked looked angry.

I found Elinore standing by her chair, holding on to it, as if the only the chair's weight kept her from coming to me."

Wicked is pissed that Truth got so gobsmacked by Anita's call and wants to know why he wasn't affected by it. Apparently because Truth took Anita's blood when he blood oathed to Jean-Claude he's more responsive to Anita's wishes. This is bad because Wicked and Truth needed to be brought over the same way. He doesn't say why though. I imagine it might be explored later.

London who seems to be the sensible one of the bunch, says "I'm beginning to understand why we used to kill necromancers on sight." Jean-Claude wants to know if it's a threat. London's response is a "No, no, master."

Anita decides that she needs to find the flavor of Requiem. Yes. The flavor. To do that she needs Requiem to drink her blood. It's going to hurt because he can't roll her. I'm thinking now of Vampire bats who have a special thingy in their blood to make the animals they drink from not notice. I would think that vampires would have that too. Because they might not always be able to roll their victims. It's just a thought. It'd be better if it was pleasurable and that way get more victims to come willingly. Than having to force them to come. But it's not as sexy, I guess. Or something.

Still it works.

He drew back from my throat, gasping, as if he'd been running. There was blood on his lower lip as he stared up at me. One moment he still looked dazed, the next he spilled into his eyes. They flared with blue fire, with that hint of turquoise in the center. His power danced over my skin like a cold prickling breeze.

I'm not sure how you can spill into your own eyes. It sounds messy. Maybe if you melt the insides of your brain and they leak out your eyes... Of course that would only improve the intelligence of the characters in this story, so perhaps that might not be a bad thing.

Still, it frees Requiem. And he wants to know what she would have of him. But Anita is too busy tasting the other vampires. Yes. Tasting.

I looked around at the other vampires. I looked at Elinore still gripping the back of her chair. I felt her. Felt her as if she were a flavor of ice cream that I could have put in a cone and licked. Mostly vanilla, but with chocolate chips. I looked at London. Not vanilla, but something darker, chunkier, full of hard crunchy bits. Wicked filled my mind like icing, chocolate icing to spread on skin and lick clean. I shook my head at the imagery, and looked for Truth, still huddling by the fireplace. Something fresh and clean, strawberries, maybe, strawberry ice cream to melt down the skin, and be licked away, so you could suck the cold around the nipples...

Coming soon to Baskin Robbins: New vampire flavors! Taste your favorite vampire in a cone or cup!

Now that Requiem is free of the arduer he wants Anita to feed on him again. He wants her to feed the arduer from him. As he says, "I don't want to be enslaved, but I do want her to feed. I want it more than I've wanted anything in a very long time." Well of course he does. He's an addict. Let's give the addict more of the drug so he can continue to be an addict. Yup. Even if he wants to be free. Anita tries to talk him out of it. But he continues to insist. "My heart has died twice. Once when my moral life ceased and the second when Ligeia was taken from me. I have felt nothing for so long, Anita. You make me feel again." ... "There is something about you that has awakened my heart". Because Anita is just that special that she can do that to people.

Requiem continues to babble about the arduer and about how Jean-Claude used his own and not Belle's which means that he's strong enough to start his own bloodline. Whoopie. Do you care? Nope. Neither do I.

After all this build up, they decide not to test the arduer. They know they're too dangerous and that's it. They're still going to bring Anita to the party I bet.

I'm stopping here. It's a long chapter. And it's taking me forever to get through it.

kippurbird @ 2008-05-08T10:51:00

2008-05-08T17:56:27Z

Does anyone know if Wicked and Truth are supposed to be twins or not? Hamilton kept on talking about how much they looked alike, despite the fact that they didn't and it has left me confused. As not having the book where they are introduced, I can't look it up. Also which one turned the other into a vampire and why. Is this also known?

A Lord of the Rings crossover.

2008-05-06T07:09:28Z

First! New icon! =D

Chapter Twenty Six.

Everyone has agreed to the test to see if watching Anita feed the Aduer will make others addicted to the aduer. I'm not really sure how that's a good idea. It's like giving some coke and seeing if they'll get addicted to it because some are addicted to it. I'm sure there's no better way to do it. The morals of this book continue to astound me. Or what morals there are. Which seem to be inverse to the amount of sex there is. Perhaps that's something we should look into at a later point in regarding the overall series.

Translated this means: I want to have sex with you, even if it means I have to have sex with Jean-Claude too. Just fuck me already, damnit.

A vampire appears in the room. His name is London and he's nick-named the Dark Knight. Okay. I lie. He doesn't appear, he's supposed to have been there the entire time, but he's never mentioned having come in. His presence is never explained. He's just there. Why is he there?

To tell us that, "Requiem doesn't embrace men."

Hamilton really has a problem describing two men having sex. They don't fuck. They don't have sex. They "embrace".

I don't really embrace that idea of having metaphysical sex is only okay between two women because it may damn me.

They talk about what to do with him, and decide what has happened to him is rather like what a Vampire does to a human, bespelled him. So, they think that maybe they should try and break it like you do an enchantment on a human. They ask Wicked and Truth their opinion on the matter.

Insert obligitory description of brothers here:

The two brothers came forward into the stronger light near the bed. At first glance they didn't look that alike. They were bot tall and broad-shouldered, but beyond that they were opposites. Wicked's hair was sleek and very blond, cut long so it framed a face that was all high, sculpted cheekbones, complete with a dimple in his chin deep enough that I could never decide if it looked adorable or painful. His eyes were a clear steady blue, and if I hadn't Jean-Claude's and Requiem's eyes to compare him to, I'd have said his eyes were striking. He wore a modern tailored suit of tans and creams that made him look halfway between the college professor of your dreams and an executive gigolo. Then there was Truth.

Truth had obviously slept in his clothes. The clothes were made up of bits of leather, but not fashionable club wear, no, more like boiled leather worn smooth and soft with use and wear. His pants were tucked into boots so battered that Jean-Claude had offered to replace them, but Truth wouldn't give them up. He could have been dressed for any century from, thirteenth to fifteenth. His straight brown hair was shoulder length, but stringy, as if it needed a good brushing. He didn't exactly have a beard, just stubble, as if he hadn't shaved for a while. But under all that disarray was the same bone structure, the same cleft chin, and the same blue eyes. Wicked's eyes always seemed to hold a cynical joy, but Truth's looked tired and wary, as if he was just waiting for us to disappoint him.

I'm seeing Legolas and Aragorn here. The pair of them first appear in Incubus Dreams which was published in 2004. Return of the King was in theaters in 2003. Fellowship of the Ring came out in 2001. I believe that there's plenty of time there for Hamilton to make some Aragorn/Legolas rip-offs.

And that's just... beyond special, now that I think about it. Also, I don't know if the brothers are twins are not, but I don't see why they have to be such physical opposites. Now, I admit to having Trever and Kale dress alike when they're identical twins, but they're doing it for a reason. When they're just hanging out they dress differently, but not to such extremes. I think they're supposed to be twins, because she keeps on insisting that they're identical looking, despite appearances.

While I'm on it, what is with the vampires not having any fashion sense? Just... it's dumb.

After playing some word games (they ask Anita what she wants to do with Requiem and she says having him be free of her which they take to mean send him away) they ask her why having him so bespelled is so bad.

"My stomach clenched tight. The thought of anyone being bound to anyone else like that was wrong; that I'd done it by accident made me vaguely nauseous." But she doesn't at all seem to mind that Auggie might have the same issues. He's not even brought up.

She asks Requiem to break free, in like one of those scenes in movies were the possessed person is being asked to remember who they are and break free from their chains of binding or something.

Still more wandering around when they get back to the idea of using Anita's powers to break the spell. After some more chatter they decided that Requiem needs to feed on blood as well as the sex pollen. This will create the necessary tie for Anita to use her powers to break him... I think.

And the chapter ends with London, Legolas and Aragorn being skeptical of Anita doing what she says she's going to do as she promises to do it.

Road Hazards in LA

2008-05-05T20:11:42Z

The scariest thing happened to me last night. A friend and I were going down to the Kosher Subway on Pico. I took a wrong turn and ended up meandering around some side streets before getting onto Santa Monica Blvd in the wrong direction. I had to make a U-turn. I started to pull over to the left and accidentally cut off this guy in an SUV. He honks at me and I think that's the end of it.

But no. He starts yelling and screaming, flashing his lights. Then he pulls up to the side of me and matches speeds. I think that he wants to move in, so I slow down, he keeps speed. So I speed up. He keeps speed. Cursing the entire time. Then he starts to pull into my lane. There is nowhere but a wall on the other side of me and I can't figure out what the fuck is going on. This guy is literally trying to run me off the road! Fortunately before I could get too panicked and have an anxiety attack (which wouldn't do either of us any good) he speeds off.

My friend thought that they guy was going to pull a gun on us. I didn't know, because I was too busy trying to stay on the road, but either way, scary!

It's LOONG!

2008-05-04T07:32:46Z

Chapter twenty five

We're halfway through the book now.

What I thought was the plot of the book, the Ballet and the Master's of the City all converging on St. Louis hasn't even been mentioned in pages. It doesn't exist as far as the story is concerned. Anita's sex life being more important than a potential all out war between a bunch of powerful vampires and weres. Now that we've got that covered we shall move on to the actual "meat" of the chapter, such as it is.

Anita goes into the bathroom. Apparently while in the tub she was not in the bathroom but somewhere else. How else could she go into the bathroom without coming out of it in the first place. Obviously I'm missing something here. Or Anita is able to mess around with reality in such a way that she can go into the bathroom never having left it. Amazing how many new and special talents she's picking up. Even some that Hamilton didn't even intend.

She needs to go into the bathroom so that she can come out of the bathroom and see a new vampire named Elinore. Insert Obligatory Paragraph of description here.

She was dressed in a white gown with a high lacy collar and a cream robe that managed to look graceful, and not like jammies at all. Her long blond hair fell in a pale wave around her body, like a second robe, so long. She was a vision in pale delicate colors, then she looked at me. Her eyes were a pale icy blue, the wrong color of blue for that delicate face. Her face was a near-perfect oval, dainty and unreal, as if someone had carved her from some white, pure rock, and breathed life into her. Unless she worked at it, hers was a cold beauty. If her eyes had been a brighter blue, I think it would have made her look warmer. The eyes gave the lie to the rest of her. The eyes were serious, careful, watchful. Hidden under all those clothes was a round, curvy body that was as lovely and desirable as the face, if a little to soft for my tastes. She had the Nordic beauty that I'd craved as a child. Craved so I'd fit in with my blond, blue-eyed father and his new family.

I'd tried to hate her, just on principle. I'd failed, why? Under that lady-like exterior she was tough, fair, and harder than a box of nails. She just hid it much better than I did. We got along. Besides, all the male vamps were prettier than me, why shouldn't some of the female vamps be prettier too.

I'm sorry. Two paragraphs. Two block paragraphs. Once again we are inflicted with an overload of information. We aren't shown anything, we're just told this is what she looks like this is how she acts. We don't get to see her act touch as nails and fair, we're just told this. It's like those character descriptions that Sue-Authors often put in the beginning of their stories so that we know who their characters are. And then declare that their character is not a Mary Sue.

Apparently the big Arduer to do last night has made it so that the vampires can wake up before dark. It's noon now. It's the earliest that Elinore has ever woken up. The ardeur is also making it so that she doesn't need to feed. This makes Jean-Claude happy (but not in his pants) because, according to Elinore, "If we wished to travel as a group in countries where we are illegal, only one of us would need to feed. It would mean Jean-Claude could take quite a large group of his own vampires into another country without leaving much evidence behind. Certainly we could hide from the human authorities."

The thing is, they don't even know if the whatever that happened is going to last or if it'll happen again. But then again, it would because it's Anita Land.

Another vampire, Requiem, comes in. Requiem was the one, way back in the beginning who gave up Meing Ding Dong whatever her name is because he wanted to be with Anita. Another obligitory block of description to stop the "action".

[Remus] gave another angry look around the room, then opened the door. A moment later Requiem glided through the door. He had his black, hooded cloak close around his body, so that the only thing that showed was teh spill of his Vandyke beard framing the curve of his lips.

"How badly are you hurt, mon ami?" Jean-Claude asked.

Requiem shrugged back the hood without using his hands, the way you'd flip long hair behind your back. The hood slid down and the right side of his face was a mass of deep-purple bruises. One of his eyes was almost swollen shut, jut a glimpse of that startling bright blue that had made Belle Morte try to buy Requiem from his original Master. Belle had wanted to have a matching set of blue eyed men. Asher's was the palest blue; Jean-Claude's the darkest; Requiem's the brightest. His master had refused, and they had fled France.

His long, straight hair, so dark it mingled with the black cloak, made his pale skin all the paler, and helped the bruises stand out like purple ink on his face.

I found the Vandyke beard funny. I don't know why but I did. I think I imagined it as Jafar's (from Disney's Aladdin) beard. Or maybe one of Python's Spanish Inquisitor's. Then I'm wondering why he's wearing a black hooded cloak. He's not a wizard like in Harry Potter, but I remember that the Vampires have no sense of fashion. It doesn't make me feel any better though.

Requiem is covered in bandages from when Ding Dong tried to kill him. She tried to use a knife. Not a stake. But a knife to kill him. Because we all know that the best way to kill a vampire is with a knife.

Let us ponder this for a moment.

I don't think Hamilton has been reading very many vampire novels.

While this fight was done in front of the customers the authorities were not called because Asher and Jean Claude put the crowd under mass hypnosis. "Mass hypnosis is not illegal, ma petite only personal hypnotism." Apparently it's okay to hypnotize a lot of people and not one person. An evil vampire could do a lot of damage with this. He could start a riot. Hell any vampire could start a riot with that ability. I would think that hypnotism in general be it mass or personal would be illegal. BUT if it wasn't then the audience would have called the cops and that would have been bad. This is what we call a convenient but stupid plot device.

Blah.

Requiem is also addicted to the ardeur. Which is why he dumped Ding Dong to get into Anita's bed. The reason why he thinks that he's not in Anita's bed is because he's not handsome enough.

I turned back to [Requiem] kneeling before me. I had no idea what to say.

"Am I ugly to you?" he asked..

"No," and I traced the line of his uninjured cheek. "You are very handsome, and you know it."

He shook his head, stopped it in midmotion, again as if it hurt. "If I were handsome enough, you would have taken me to your bed and not turned to these strangers." He lowered his head, both hands gripping mine. He finally raised his face, and he was crying. "Please, Anita, please do not cast me aside so easily. I know that you did not enjoy the attentions I gave you as much as I enjoyed the touch of your body. But I will be better, I swear it, if only you will give me another chance to show you pleasure. I was trying to be too careful of you. I didn't not understand. I can do better, be better." He buried his face against my legs, and wept.

Once again we have proof that the only thing that matters in Anita-Land is how pretty you are and how good in bed you are. If you remember earlier, Anita bitched out Auggie the master from Chicago, about the fact that he only had Bunny for sex. But here she has men all upset that she won't have sex with them because they're not pretty enough or good enough in bed as opposed to being good conversationalists like Anita said she wanted.

Also, we have solid proof that the only thing that matters in Anita land is your looks. After all, the thing that Requiem is worried about the most is that Anita doesn't want him because he doesn't look good enough. Or that he's not good enough in bed. Not that she doesn't like him personally, but doesn't like him because of how he looks.

The message here is clear. Ugly people are the spawn of evil and never should have sex. We need to rise up against those who are ugly or try to make themselves beautiful and kill them all, that way only pretty people will survive and the world will be a better place. Of course the pretty people seem to be as dumb as a rock, so I doubt they'd survive very long after the non-pretty people.

As we continue on Elinore wants Anita to take Requiem on as her lover to make him... happy or something. Anita doesn't want to because she doesn't think she could take care of his emotional needs: "talk, emotion, sharing, love."

Let us look at this statement. Anita is implying that she can only talk to, share with and love a certain amount of people. And anyone else she can't care about. I think this is another slash in the sociopath category. The idea that you can only love a certain amount of people is ridiculous. Either that or she's suggesting that she can only have sex with a certain amount of people. Now if it was that, I could believe it. Though barely. Because Anita seems to be capable of having sex like a cat is capable of taking over the place. Which is very easy.

Finally, we learn that there is a way to set someone free from the Arduer.

You'll absolutely love this one. I mean, really, truly, you'll love this one. Like the way you like having your spleen ripped out of your body with a rusty spork or having your teeth drilled with no pain killers or having a small child screech in your ear at pitches things shouldn't be able to make. Yes. This is the sort of love the cure will inspire.

The cure is:

True Love.

What I think we should do now is all make a date and meet up at Hamilton's house and burn it down. Like angry villagers do in those monster movies. It'll be fun! We can bring hot dogs and marshmallows. Sing folk songs and drink beer. It can be like one of Nanny Ogg's mobs.

Here I would like to insert my standard rant on True Love. This would, of course, take far too much time and I'll actually have to write it out some other time. But to boil it down into a few words, how can you know if it's true love? I mean it's not like there's a lightbulb that goes off or a game show host that says, "Congratulations! You've just found your true love!"

Actually that would be a pretty fun game show. It could be one of those shows like the Price is Right. You play various games and see what sort of person you end up with. True love, person you hate beyond measure but still have to live with, just some dull guy... become a cat lady... be one of those poor people who can only get dates with blow up dolls. Lots of potential!

As Jean-Claude explains:

"We loved Julianna, and she freed us of the addiction of Belle Morte. Belle Morte had requiem in her bed before Ligeia ever touched him, but she sent Requiem on a long seduction far away from her. It was necessary to seduce both halves of a noble couple, so she sent Ligeia with him."

They continue to insist that she take Requiem for a lover to take care of him because he's addicted to her. They keep on repeating this because Anita refuses to take responsibility for him.

Jean-Claude doesn't have this problem because Anita is his human servant. My question is, then, what did he do before Anita?

Requiem continues to beg Antia to make him her Blood apple. She keeps on refusing him (even if it would solve a lot of their problems). Instead they talk about trapping the other Masters like they did Auggie because it would solve a great many problems. Anita calls that evil.

"are you suggesting that I purposefully trap other masters the way I accidentally trapped Requiem?" I asked.

"It would solve a great many problems," [Elinore] said.

"It would be," - I groped for a word- "evil."

"I thought you were more pragmatic than this Anita."

"Doing that would be no different than if we gave in to the requests we get weekly for you to join some some other master's kiss, as his mistress. We give you room to chose, Elinore. How can you ask us to take that same choice from someone else?"

"I would not be bespelled, Anita. I would know every night as he touched me, lay on top of me, that I hated him. Requiem adores you, and he will adore you until, and if, he falls in love, true love. Until that time he will be in the bed of someone he adores, having amazing sex, and enjoying every minute of it. It is not the same thing Anita. Trust me on that."

"But it's sort of a metaphysical date-rape drug, used like that. Just because you're enjoying the abuse doesn't make it not abuse."

Didn't I say that oh so long ago when it was in regards to Auggie and they had sex with him And didn't Anita say that it wasn't rape because he wanted it, asked for it, consented to it? But now since Anita doesn't want it it's automatically a bad thing.

Wicked and Truth show up and they have perfect timing because Jean-Claude and the others have decided that they need to see how a master vampire not from Bella's blood line reacts to Anita's ardeur. They're going ask the two of them if they'll watch Anita feed from Requiem (who has started calling Anita Mistress). Which in theory will not involve sex.

This experiment will happen next chapter.

A brief look at Brisngr

2008-05-03T04:41:28Z

I was adding things to my Wikispace site (Which I've decided, if anyone has an essay or something related to writing, I'll put it up on the essays page or appropriate location) and cleaning things up some, when in the course of things, I discovered the book description for Brisnger on Amazon. Obviously, this requires mocking.

Product Description

OATHS SWORN . . . loyalties tested . . . forces collide.

Exciting! Though what sort of forces are colliding I don't know. Perhaps bad writing and characterization. Though, for all we know he could have matured. I will give him this. He has had several years to work on his craft and hopefully he has learned something. Still, I find the Oaths Sworn to be a horribly cliched plot device. The Hero swears an oath and then you know something is going to come up that requires him to go against the sworn oath. Usually another sworn oath. And thus leads to tension and things. But it's a plot device that you know is going to happen, and while it could be well done in the hands of a talented writer, in Paolini’s case, I doubt he'll have the subtly to pull it off.

Following the colossal battle against the Empire’s warriors on the Burning Plains, Eragon and his dragon, Saphira, have narrowly escaped with their lives. Still there is more at hand for the Rider and his dragon, as Eragon finds himself bound by a tangle of promises he may not be able to keep.

And this is why you don't make promises you don't think you'll be able to keep. However, since this book is as predictable as the sun rising, we know that somehow Eragon will manage to survive. And it wasn't narrowly escaping with their lives, Murtagh let them live.

First is Eragon’s oath to his cousin Roran: to help rescue Roran’s beloved, Katrina, from King Galbatorix’s clutches. But Eragon owes his loyalty to others, too. The Varden are in desperate need of his talents and strength—as are the elves and dwarves. When unrest claims the rebels and danger strikes from every corner, Eragon must make choices— choices that take him across the Empire and beyond, choices that may lead to unimagined sacrifice.

Which really shouldn't have been made or at least taken care of right away, in regards to Katrina's rescue. She's safe as long as they can use her for leverage. (A point I made in the original go over of Eldest). And this is hardly a tangle of promises. He has to help rescue Katrina and deal with the Varden. And really, that's it, if I recall correctly. But what do I know? I've just read the books.

Eragon is the greatest hope to rid the land of tyranny. Can this once-simple farm boy unite the rebel forces and defeat the king?

Stupid question. Of course he will. But then again they are trying to get people interested in reading this book, so I suppose it's allowed, but really it's the simple farm boy to greatest hope that gets me. It's a waving cliche here. Not that we didn't already know that, but yes.

But now we know what Brisnger's about, not that it actually shows up something new and interesting happening. It sounds like every other bad fantasy story out there.

kippurbird @ 2008-05-01T21:51:00

2008-05-02T04:52:37Z

Picture! Kale again, this time finished ish. The background sucks. But other than that, I like it.

Kale Standing -bad background by ~Kippur on deviant ART

Rub a dub dub three freaks in a tub

2008-05-02T01:07:45Z

Chapter Twenty Four

So, obviously all the goo that came when Anita um... made them change (and there's no way that doesn't sound dirty), they need to take a bath. This time she takes it with Jean-Claude and Micah while Nathaniel goes and gets Haven fed from the livestock room. There is some bitching about the fact that Octavius and Pierce aren't allowed to return to their rooms because they had knocked out the guards. They had knocked out the guards because Anita had called them and the guards weren't letting them out. Thus to get to Anita they had to beat up the guards. Which got them in trouble.

To sum this up Octavius and Pierce are in trouble for trying to help Anita. Especially when Pierce and Haven (Cookie) got mindfucked into coming to her like puppets, thus making it not their fault. Brilliant.

This is swept aside as Anita and Jean-Claude talk about Marmee Noir, the Mother of all Darkness. It's basically a rehash of what happened before, for Micah's benefit and we learn that if Jean-Claude had given Anita the fourth mark for a vampire servant, Mommy would have killed her because she wouldn't be able to control her. After all, controlling Anita is the most important thing a vampire as old as Noir needs to worry about.

They want to know how Anita broke free from her and she said that she called the wolf which bit her there in Noir's real room. This is surprising because "The ability to send a spirit animal through dream and harm another is rare among us." Who here is surprised that Anita can do it? Anyone? Anyone? You in the back?

Apparently a multi-were who gave himself the original name of Chimera could invade dreams also. It was he who infected Anita with the lion strain of were. As they discuss this, being heads in a bath, the think that maybe they could see how many weres Anita could collect before she shifts and theoretically can't take any more.

Jean-Claude answered,"If you are to be a panwere, and there is a chance that you will gain new animals until your first change of shape, then we have the opportunity to gain great power.

"What are you talking about?"

"If you are going to shift, then wouldn't it make sense to add more types of lycanthropy?" Micah said.

"Make sense, no," I said, "no it wouldn't make sense."

"Why not, ma petite You called the lions, and they came to your call. You call the leopards and they come. You call wolves, and I begin to wonder if it is my power that attracts them to you, or something more."

"You're saying I should deliberately infect myself with other types of lycanthropy?"

They exchanged glances. "Put it that way, no," Micah said.

"It is a thought, ma petite, merely a thought."

"Are; you always thinking about how I can help you be more powerful?"

He sighed. "We must be powerful, and stable. We must show the other masters that we do not pose a threat to the council and Europe or anyone else."

From what I can gather from this exchange is that they're not helping Anita get her powers under control so that they have a powerful weapon. Or at least they want to feed her more and more powers to make her more powerful. Thus to prove that they're not dangerous. I think this is like the whole nuke situation where they're saying we have a dangerous weapon so that way we're proving to you that we're not dangerous. Also this reminds of the Evil Overlord's list rule #22 # No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head. As in I will not put too many special powers in one person least they go insane and try to kill everyone. But this is me being practical. In Anita land such things would never happen because Anita is Anita who is super awesome and stuff.

Then one of the guards come in. His name is Remus. And I keep on imagining Lupin here. In any case we get our obligatory paragraph of description.

His eyes were green-gray, nice eyes, if he'd ever look directly at you. He never did, or at least he never did at me, or Jean-Claude, or Micah, or Nathaniel. Why? Remus's face had been broken at some point, and been put back together. There was no one thing you could point to and say, "That's out of place," but the overall effect was lopsided, and looked almost uncomfortable, like a ceramic mask that had been glued back together wrong.

And here we have the continuing definition of self worth in Anita-Land, if you're not pretty, you're not worth being looked at. Only pretty people, not even handsome people are worth anything. If you're not, then you're sub-human, or at least have low self esteem. I mean Asher had all the paintings of him before he got his face ruined because he was afraid people would remember what he used to be like and not like him anymore. He acts like his entire worth is based on how he looks and not who he is. These vampires have known him for a long time and I think the fact that he still continues on and is as powerful as he is despite his injuries is a thing they'd be impressed with and respect him for. The fact that everyone is focused on people's looks instead of other things makes them as shallow as a high school cheerleader.

The reason why Remus is there is because Claudia wants every guard who takes over to check up on her eye to eye and make sure she's okay. Claudia also wants two guards on Anita at all times. It's actually an intelligent idea (for once) because if she shifts she'll be an "uber-preternatural power. You'll be a shifter with powers over the dead." The weres that are going to be watching over her are all going to be ex-military and mercs. Which seems to be one of the only jobs a were would be good for.

After all, if she goes bad they want someone capable of handling it. The chapter ends here with no real resolution. Anita doesn't say yea or neigh to the idea. Instead it ends with Remus talking about how fighters are more important and useful than someone who just is athlectic. Which is kinda obvious and really doesn't have anything to do with the story. A better ending of the chapter, which doesn't have much of a cliffhanger to make me want to keep on reading and find out what happens next, would be Anita admitting that yes, she needed the guards and hoping that she wouldn't have to see them in action.

The really long story about Blake getting what's coming to her continues.

2008-04-30T21:29:27Z

Title Hostile Take Over
fandom Anita Blake
Summary Anita Blake and the St. Louis vampires have to deal with the strange contingent from Los Angeles when all the Masters have come to their city.
Rating PG-13
Note Orion, Lan, Kev and Maddy belong to canadianevil she's just letting me borrow them. Alec, Trever and Kale belong to me. Hamilton's characters belong to her.

-----

The ball was in full swing, and I as Prince Charming entered, catching everyone's attention. Perhaps I was both Prince Charming and Cinderella. Jean-Claude managed to convince me to wear a little black dress. Hardly practical as the top was too low and the bottom too high. The strapy high heels almost made me wobble as they were four inches high. I couldn't understand how people could walk in them. Looking around, I could see all the Masters mingling with the air of people playing Russian roulette. Who would be the one to start off the explosion that could happen between them all.

Actually, no, the Los Angeles contingent, once again appeared to be immune to such things. The red haired twins moved smoothly between groups, like a pair of cats giving a rub against a favorite person. They talked animately with their hands and smiles. Genuine looking smiles. Lan, I noticed after looking for him, talked with Nathaniel. Something I was grateful for, as perhaps Nathaniel could give me some insight on Lan and what had happened to him. The ever present Kev leaned up against the wall behind Lan, scouring the crowd with a predatory look. Orion and Maddy were talking to Richard, not surprising as Richard led the wolf pack in St. Louis. I didn't recognize the fourth person with them. He hung near Orion like a puppy with his master. He didn't look like a were, so perhaps he had become a servant by accident. Like what might have happened with Auggie. Getting closer I could see that he looked rather like Lan, but older. He had wild black hair that stuck out in all directions and covered his face and curled around his neck. His eyes were a brown like mud just after the rain. Wearing jeans and a plain red tee-shirt, he looked out of place with the fancier dressed people.

Orion looked up at me with his ice blue eyes, studying me carefully. The boy also looked at me and I could see in his eyes that he wasn't all there. Sort of like Kev, but not as savage. "Anita," Orion said to me nodding his head in greeting. Richard turned, looking uncomfortable. After what had happened earlier I couldn't blame him.

"I see you've been holding out on me," I said jokingly, indicating the unknown person.

Smiling, Orion said, "This is Alec. He's a fledgling. We didn't bring him earlier because he'd been a bad boy and had to stay in his kennel."

"Kennel?" Richard asked before I could.

"Oh, you know fledglings, can't always restrain themselves. Get into trouble all the time. Since he acted like a bad puppy we treated him like one." Orion patted Alec lightly on the head as he said that. I guess my though about Alec being puppy like wasn't to far off.

Richard looked, I wouldn't say sick, so much as disgusted. After all what sort of person would do that to another living thing? Treating them like some sort of animal. Some sort of... slave who gets punished when he doesn't behave. I completely agreed with Richard on this one. I don't do slaves. Still I put on my business smile as Alec tried to sniff me. Orion cuffed him lightly on the head and he retreated with a muttered 'she smells funny'. "I was hoping I could speak with Maddy for a moment," I said, still warily watching Alec and his sniffing.

Maddy smiled broadly at me. "Girl talk?" she said teasingly. Her manner made me feel instantly comfortable with her. Like a long time friend. She radiated openness and warmth, almost like an older Pippi Longstockings. She even dressed a little like her, minus the enormous braids.

"Yes, girl talk, in a sense." I pulled her over to the side away from everyone else. I felt almost like a pair of girls about to giggle and discuss their crush. I wondered if I could talk to her about the baby, the pregnancy. She seemed to be the understanding type who wouldn't judge me or my decisions.

Crossing her arms, she said, "So talk."

"It's about Lan," I said bluntly. She tilted her head as if she didn't quite understand what I was saying. "He doesn't seem to be... in a good position. Someone could take advantage of him. I don't know what happened to him when he got turned..."

Maddy laughed, "Oh, he was always like this. Orion thought he was pretty and wanted to preserve that."

I faltered, not knowing what to say to that. He reminded me for a moment of Valentina's sire, even if he was older. I looked around and saw her. Saw her approaching Kev. As if anticipating my words, Maddy said, "Don't worry about Kev, he can handle himself."

"Are you sure?" I asked, even if I wouldn't mind Kev having a painful encounter with Valentina.

"Oh yes. So, you're worried about Lan?"

I took a deep breath. I was going to be saying that they weren't taking good care of one of their own. Of two of their own, now that I thought about it. After having met Alec, I don't think I could leave him there to be kenneled. "Yes. I am. It's just... I don't know if your kiss is a safe place for him." I chose my next words carefully, "I don't think being with Orion is good for him."

Giving me a serious look, Maddy said, "Why do you say that?" I could hear a dangerous tremor in her voice, and I knew I was heading into dangerous territory. Still, I plunged ahead.

"Because of what he's done to Lan, what he seems to be doing to Alec. It's not right to treat them like that. To use them like that. For Jesus' sake, he's putting Alec in a kennel like some sort of dog!"

For a long, terrifying moment, Maddy didn't say anything. I wondered if she would say something, shout something out to Orion. Instead she said, "I'd have to think about this. I do admit to not agreeing with everything Orion does, but that doesn't mean I'm going to betray him. Lan is a favorite of his and as for Alec... I don't know what his plans are for him and I don't want to disrupt them."

"You don't want to disrupt them? He could do anything to him! Look what he's done to Lan. The boy's practically a simpleton!"

"And Orion is over two thousand years old. The twins are over a thousand years old. That's four thousand years of vampire experience that would be thrown against me if I decided to disrupt the plans. I'm not suicidal. You can talk to Orion, if you want though." She gave me a brittle smile. She also had a point. I'd have to figure out a way to make it seem like a good idea for Orion to leave Alec and Lan with us. Without Kev. Or at least, leave Alec with us as well, as Lan would be staying as part of the trade. Perhaps Alec and Lan instead of Lan and Kev.

Speaking of Alec, he suddenly appeared next to me, sniffing like a dog. "You smell funny. Like bubblegum and sardines," he declared before wandering off back to Orion. Looking at Maddy, I saw that she was barely restraining a fit of giggles. For a moment I just stared at her, before giggling myself. I had to, it was just so silly that I couldn't.

"I want you to know," Maddy said, after we finished giggling. "I don't think you smell like that."

"I would hope not. I don't even want to know where that came from."

"Neither do I." She rubbed her hands briskly together. "I will see what I can do. But I can't promise anything."

I shrugged. "That's all I can ask for." She smiled at me, that warm and friendly smile. I wondered if I could talk to her about the pregnancy. She seemed like a good person who would understand what I was going through. Someone who I could talk to and wouldn't judge me. Plus she wasn't part of the whole mess anyway, like Ronnie and the others. I would ask her later then.

As I turned away from her, I found Alec staring at me, his head tilted like a puppy. Something flashed in his dark brown eyes. I couldn't tell what it was. Instead, I decided to try and talk to him, to see if I could figure out what was wrong with him. "Hi," I said softly, as if talking to a skittish dog. He looked like a skittish puppy and I immediately chastised myself for thinking that. That would make me like his companions. And I wasn't like them at all.

"Hello." That odd, somewhat scattered, look had vanished from his face, and I could see him focusing on me.

I smiled, trying to make it genuine. "Are you enjoying yourself here?"

"It's all right. A bit too poofy for my likes though."

"Poofy...?" I looked around and couldn't see anything that could be described as poofy. Rich and subtle, but not poofy.

"Oh, yes. Poofy. I rather like our place much better." He flashed me a smile, almost like Kev's predatory one. The madness crept back into his eyes as he said,"I bet you'd look pretty with your intestines around your neck."

"Alec! Come here, would you please?" Maddy called out. He flashed me another smile, this one with fangs, before going back over to Maddy. He didn't even bother to wave good-bye.

Before I could finish getting unsettled by that, the twins swept around me, putting me in the middle of a red haired sandwich. Again, they were dressed identical, with identical smiles and identical gleams in their eyes. "Anita!" one said.

"Just the person we were hoping to see."

"We've been talking to a few others around."

"As I'm sure you saw."

"The red hair makes it rather obvious doesn't it?" They laughed at the joke. I smiled at them as they put their arms around me. I felt power in them, and I remembered Maddy saying that they were over a thousand years old. But they contained their power to such a degree that I knew that they were just letting it out a bit to let me know that yes, they had it, and I should beware.

"Anyway," the one on my left said. "We were talking mostly business."

"But we must admit that some of it was about you."

"About me?" I asked, interrupting their back and forth conversation. I tried to look at them, but couldn't because they were on either side of me.

"Yes, about you." The one on the right, which I decided to designate as Trever, said.

"We were wondering if you would be interested in learning a way to keep your Arduer in control."

"After all, it must be horrible to have to stop your life just to shag someone."

"Not that shagging is a bad thing, mind you." Kale gave me a wicked grin. "But still."

"We might have a solution for it."

My eyes widened at this. I've never heard of such a thing. Or at least never been told. Then again, the twins were very old and seemed to be the sort that would know about these things. "Really?" I made it a question. After all I didn't want to make it seem like I didn't believe them.

"Yes, really." Trever said. "Think about it and let us know if you're interested in learning more." And with that they peeled off of me and practically vanished into the crowd. I realized as they left, they never said exactly what the cure involved.

More bed scenes. No, we're still in bed. Really.

2008-04-29T09:10:40Z

Chapter twenty three

They all don't die. Instead Claudia stops Cookie from going over to the bed and having se--- I mean helping Anita. She wants his gun. He doesn't want to give it to her. Why he needs a gun, I don't know. Except for drahma it causes and the little of tension. And makes Anita special again.

Claudia stopped him, standing in his way, towering over him. It was probably the first time he'd met a woman tall enough and muscular enough to do that. Just seeing his reaction to it would say a lot about him.

"Call your rat off, Blake," Cookie said.

"Give up the gun and I move," she said.

"I was more armed than this when she touched me earlier."

"Then you were bodyguarding your master, now you're about to get up close and personal with one of mine." Her voice was low and matter-of-fact. I thought it was interesting that she implied I was one of her masters. News to me.

To further things into what the fuck territory, Anita becomes calm with a "moment of peaceful sociopathy" as she watches Cookie come towards her. Where "[the lion]'d kill him before accepted him, but there was no passion to the decision. It was colder than any thought I'd ever had, except when I'd decided to kill." So she's not at all bothered by this thoughts. It's rather Eragon like where she is all, "Gee I'm going to kill someone. And isn't that a lovely flower over there?" It's like she doesn't even care about this guy's life. And why? Because she was an asshat and decided to call up the other animals instead of trying to control the wolf.

I like the word asshat. It reminds me of dear Serious Ass. Ahh...

At this point I would like to mention that there has been sex fourish times and nothing has happened plotwise.

Cookie comes over to the bed and he has more Sesame Street tattoos. Bert and Ernie faces on his left shoulder. Um... you know, I really don't know what to say to that, except that the guy seems to have some sort of creepy obsession with a children's show and I really wouldn't want him near my kids. If I were to ever have any. In any case, Micah tells him that he needs to take Anita's beast. He's a bit WTF?

But then his nose gets a whiff of Anita and the fact that she somehow smells like three different animals. Jean-Claude says that she "seems to have the ability to aquire the animals of the vampires she comes in close contact with." Octavius doesn't like this at all cause it would make her very dangerous and powerful (not like she's not now) and then Octavius is very "That's not good why haven't you told anyone because of it." So Jean-Claude comes clean. Says that she has a human servant like a vampire (which should be impossible) and the three strands of lycanthropy.

He then says that she's just at the point of change but has managed to fight it to a standstill. Where upon it's said that, "You can't do that, no one can." And thus Blake breaks another rule established by her universe. Why? Because she'd just that special. Or perhaps It's Magic! Or she's just that speshul because of magic!

So she gives Cookie her beast. Some other things happen, but it's not important. Just Richard and Micah snipping at each other. Similar thing happens to Cookie like happened to Nathaniel.

When they're done, Anita calls Cookie, Cookie and he accepts it saying "Cookie Monster works just as well."

Then there's penis sizing contest. Or boasting.

"You haven't seen me at my best, yet" he said, and smiled for sure.

I did not understand the comment. Micah did. "He's implying that he's big."

"Oh," I said, then had to smile up at Micah. "He should brag until he's seen the competition."

The lionman rolled his face to look at Micah. He wasn't looking at his face. Micah said, "You aren't seeing me at my best either."

Even through the lion's face I could see the arrogance as he looked up at me,not at Micah. "Trust me, I'll measure up. Auggies was shopping for size, not just talent."

See, the penis contest is more important than the fact that Anita somehow has the ability to have a vampire servant when she's not a vampire and hold three strands of lycanthropy without having changed. Also, I would think that someone of Anita's position would recognize a size comment when she hears one.

Nathanial and Micah take Cookie down to the feeding grounds. Cookie wanting to know if the sex was worth it. Anita says that he might not be getting sex from her. He says, "Damn, girl, what does a man have to do to meet your standards?"

Richard wants to know the same.

Thus we enter into Richard/Anita bitch fight number three. He wants her to be his Alpha female and her to leave the others. He wants to be a couple and he thinks that if Jean Claude hadn't interfered, they would be. He asks her if she had to become a wolf for real and give up Micha and Nathaniel would that have been so bad? And she says yes, while crying. Then she gets bitchy about him just seeing the ideal of him. She says that she just doesn't want to be with him. Which is a lot different than the earlier Anita who did sort of want the the picket fence life.

Finally they sort of get it out that she doesn't want to be with just him. Which she has been saying the entire time but somehow he doesn't ever seem to listen. He's sad. And then he asks if she'd becoming with him to church next weekend and have dinner with his family. She says yes.

Which is just like pushing that button that says don't push, getting a hammer smashed on your head and doing it again. And again and again. It's not even madness because they're not really expecting a different result. They're just hitting themselves in the head for no real reason than because Hamilton said so.

The chapter ends with this exchange:

"I love you," he said.

"I love you too," I said, and meant it.

"I hate you, Anita," he said with almost no change in his voice.

"I hate you, too, Richard," I said and meant it.

The thing I'm reminded of here is the cliche of the two bickering couples people who end up falling madly in love and are true loves hand have many many sprogs together. Not like that'll happen here of course.

Weeee'rrreee baaaccckkk!!

2008-04-28T06:40:12Z

Ahhh... Anita Blake. How we've missed it so. Well, probably not. But still. Shall we continue on?

Chapter 22

When we last left Anita, she was not dead. This is a bad thing. At least in my opinion. She had been talking to the non scary, but supposed to be scary Marmee Noir.

Having brought the wolf up -which sounds rather dirty like that- she is now trying to shift when she can't shift. Why can't she shift since she's infected with the lycanthropy virus whatchamwhosit? I have no idea. But she tries to. It hurts.

My fingers curved, tried to form paws, and when that didn't work, it tried for claws to come out of the human fingers. I screamed, holding my hands up, trying to get the breath to explain. Then I didn't have to, because my body started to try to tear itself apart. It was as if every bone and muscle were trying to tear itself free from every other piece of me. The pain was indescribable. Parts of my body that were never meant to move were moving now. It was like the meat-and-bone of my bod was trying to move out of the way so something else could take its place.

I've never understood how something could be indescribable in a paragraph of description. Of course it's the pain in this part but then she goes on to describe what the pain felt like, so obviously it's not indescribable. But I might be nitpicking here. I wish she had gotten torn apart. But still, here I have to ask, why isn't she shifting? What is stopping her from shifting? Beyond "Drahma" and "She's Just That Special".

Also, why would shifting make her lose the baby? One would think that shifters would have some sort of biological mechanism built in so that they don't kill a fetus when they change shape. Because otherwise they'd all die. And now I suddenly wonder if they have litters. And what happens if they give birth while in animal form? Will the baby be born as an animal too? Does the baby change? This is a very interesting question.

People dog pile Anita. And she's going sniff sniff sniff smelling all the different animal shifters. There's lots of sniffing as she tries to get to the wolves around. I'm not really sure what's going on.

The wolf clawed at my throat it was an opening to be dug at, enlarged, so it could crawl out. The wolf couldn't get out, couldn't get out, trapped. Trapped! I tried to scream but a scream wasn't what broke out through my throat; a low, mournful howl spilled out instead. The sound cut through the frantic voices around me, froze the pressing hands. It echoed up and up, dying in the sudden silence. Then as the last quivering echo faded another voice rose, high and sweet. A third voice joined, deeper, so that for an instant their voices entwined in glorious harmony. Then one of the voices fell octaves lower, breaking the harmony, but the discord had a kind of harmony of its own.

I answered them, and for a moment our voices filled the air with quavering music. The bodies pressing against me slid away. The smell of wolf pressed close. A hand touched my face and I turned in against that hand, breathed the scent of wolf. There were other scents on that hand, a scented map of everything he had touched that day, but under it was wolf. I tried to raise both hands to press his skin against mine, but only one of my hands would rise. Something was broken in my left shoulder, something that wouldn't let me use that hand. Fear flared through me, and I whimpered, and that warm skin pressed closer to me. I'd never realized that that you could cuddle a scent around yourself as if it were an arm. But I hugged that scent around me, smelling it so intently that it spread around me like someone taking me into their arms

It's starting to seem like Antia has a sort of case of synesthesia as she keeps on coming up with strange ways of describing physical and mental phenomenon. When she finally comes to some sort of human sanity, or something like that. Graham is there. Graham is the wolf who wanted to be her new blood apple but she didn't want him. Now he's naked and near her. She says no and Claudia says yes because she needs the skin contact to help control the wolf. She still says no. People tell her she needs to. She sees Graham's naked and erect body. I think she means penis. She thinks that if he's in bed with her she'll end up having sex with him. "Sure, I was hurt, and I'd supposedly fed the ardeur really well, but call me paranoid, I just didn't want to risk it." Because every time there's someone in your bed it requires you to have sex with them, of course.

She still has problems with her wolf that wants to come out (of the closet) as she wiggles "on the bed like a bag of snakes, muscles and tendons moving in ways that should have ripped me apart". They tell her to change and it won't hurt so badly. Still not sure why she hasn't before.

And then Richard shows up. Poor Richard. He's bitchy, of course. And doesn't want to help her, of course. Because he's evil, of course. Or a bastard. Something like that. But when he sees Anita hurting he melts and tries to help her.

Then she sees her wolf and it's a special wolf. "It wasn't truly white, but the color of cream, with dark markings like a saddle across it's back and head. That dark cape was every shade of gray and black intermingled, and even the white and cream wasn't truly white or cream, but mixed like milk and buttermilk". I've got this mental picture of a white German Shepard with black markings. And a saddle on its head. It looks rather silly.

Apparently this makes her almost able to shift. Richard thinks about it, asking Anita if she wants him to bring her beast, which he doesn't want to. Neither does Anita. Claudia however thinks he should because SOMEHOW she's managed to fight off the transformation for so long. Richard is conflicted. He doesn't want to turn her because then he thinks she'd lose her humanity and become a monster like him. "He still didn't understand that being a werewolf didn't stop you being a human being". His wolf however (and this distinction between wolf and human is getting silly. There shouldn't be one. They're one creature. But it's more dramatic to talk about the wolf or the leopard or the parakeet behind the eyes straining to get out and take over the body. Even though, as far as I've been able to tell, when they are a were they still have control over their human minds, as opposed to Lupin, in Harry Potter, who becomes a dangerous animal.

Also, while I'm on the subject. Being a vampire in Anita land is incredibly sexy. There's an entire church called the Church of Eternal Life where you get turned into a vampire. And they don't really get "shunned" (SHHHHHUUUNNN the unbeliever! SHUUUUUUNNNN) as much as the were's who have to hide what they are if they want to get good jobs and things (much like Lupin again) as opposed to body guard and stripper work. Richard teaches high school science and if people found out he's a were he'd lose his job. But I would think being a were would be much preferable than being dead. Especially since Blake vampires die in the day and can't do diddle squat. And drink blood. The whole blood thing is a bit off-putting, I think. If I had a choice, I'd pick were over vampire.

Anita continues to show good judgment when she's finally getting the wolf under control she tells Micah and Nathanial to help her call the leopard. Because she doesn't want to be a wolf. I think that's more of a fuck you to Hamilton's ex than anything else. So, Micah and Nathanial go over and help call her leopard. There's a line here "We'd only learned about a month ago that that I held three different kinds of lycanthropy. Wolf and leopard hadn't been all that unexpected, but lion, that had caught me off guard. Such a delicate injury, so little blood, but sometimes a nick is enough with blood born diseases." which reminds me of a Simpsons' episode. Mr. Burns was at the doctor who was saying that the only reason why he was still alive was that he had so many diseases they couldn't all get into the door, so to speak. In any case, Anita calls the leopard and the lion (totally by accident, don'tcha know) which scare the wolf off. Oh. Her leopard by the way? Is black. And her leopard wants to come out, just like her wolf.

In an interesting thought here, I'm starting to wonder about something. First of all, people don't want others to know that they're were's at least those who don't like trotting around in tight pants all the time like Micah and Nathanial. Antia doesn't want her were to come out and Richard is ashamed of his were. Could were bey a synonym for gay here? And if so, what does this say about Hamilton of whom Anita is based on. Heh.

Now that we've analyzed Anita/Hamilton's sexuality here, Anita has called up the leopard which wants to get out. This is a bad thing, much like it was when the wolf wanted to come out. So, Nathanial offers to "take her beast" which sounds really, really, really dirty. Especially since he's done it once before. And it requires him kissing her.

He leaned in for a kiss, and I felt the leopard roll toward him like something half liquid and half solid fur. His mouth found mine, and we kissed. The last time I'd given him my beast it had been almost as violent as tonight, but I'd been fighting; now I simply gave it to him, and Nathaniel didn't fight. He kissed me hard and deep, as if he were trying to taste that furred shape, and the next moment that shape spilled up through my mouth, I felt it as never before, as if truly it slipped up and out through my mouth. I had a moment of choking, and then it was in him. My leopard smashed into his body, smashed into his beast. The force of it pushed his body off the bed, like a blow, but he fought to keep on kissing me. Fought to kiss me as thick, heavy liquid ran over my body from his. So warm, hot, as if he were bleeding to death. I opened my eyes enough to see that the liquid was clear, but had to close my eyes to keep it from getting in them. His hands were on my face, trapping us in the kiss. But I wanted the kiss, I wanted this. I wanted, needed the release, and my body couldn't give it.

First wet and furry sounds like she's hacking up a hairball. It doesn't help that we're dealing with a leopard here. It describes exactly what my cat sounds like when he's hacking up one. (I found an old dried one in one of my stuffed animal's hat last night. Ew >< ) Second of all the wet liquid coming off of Nathaniel's body um sounds kind of like he's ejaculating on her. Warm and hot, thick heavy liquid. Yes. Ejaculation to me. Not at all sexy here at all. Nope.

So, that's the Wolf and the Leopard taken care of. But now there's the Lion which is also hanging around. So, she calls on the lion and gets two tugs. Auggie's two lions. For some reason the Rex of the lion pride Joseph is not called, but that could just be because he's not in the area. In a splendid bit of hahaha Anita was right without knowing it, the were-lion she called Cookie for his Cookie Monster blue hair has a Cookie Monster tattoo. How about that, eh? Eh? Hah hah it is to laugh.

Cookie wants to go at it with Anita while the other lion doesn't. Octavius, Auggie's human servant is rightly indignant over this treatment, but they brush him off. Instead Jean-Claude tells him that the two lions are supposed to be pomme de sang candidates for Anita and she just wants to taste them now. Pierce doesn't want to go and doesn't think Cookie should go to, after all they're going not of their own free will, but because she Called them, made them want to go to her. So basically she mind-fucked them and is going to rape them because they aren't under control of their own actions. Pierce finally lets him go and Cookie goes to Anita.

For a moment, she thinks about trying to force Pierce over to her too, just to see if she could, but decides not to, not because it's wrong but because she only needs one lion at the moment. What a wonderful person she is. Yes.

So, we're back on track, I think. WOO!

kippurbird @ 2008-04-26T02:19:00

2008-04-26T09:20:53Z

Um... anyone know what this would be about?

Guy, I think, IM'd me.

OpenedSalmon: I'm from the Internet. I'm here to help.

Kippurbirdy: All right.

OpenedSalmon: Are you a bot? You strike me as a Jabberwacky clone.

Kippurbirdy: Umm....

OpenedSalmon: Guess not. Who are you?

Kippurbirdy: I'm Kippur, who are you?

OpenedSalmon: Don't IM people you don't know.

Kippurbirdy: I didn't IM you.

OpenedSalmon: Now you're aggravating me.

Kippurbirdy: I'm sorry. But I didn't.

OpenedSalmon: It's sort of pointless to argue with you.

OpenedSalmon: Toodles.

Kippurbirdy: Bye.

This is like the second time something like this has happened where someone IM's me and says that I've IM'd them. Any idea what that's about?

Geekery!

2008-04-26T09:10:59Z

I got Anita Blake in today. Which I'll start tomorrow. Or later on today. It's just about two am as I'm writing this and I'm not tired. I think I'm heading towards manic. I alphabetized my bookshelf today after work. Discovered that I have no room now for my D&D manuals. A difficult issue indeed.

Also, my red dragon came in today. Here are pictures! I put in miniatures of humans to give you and idea for scale. The red one is also about the size of the cat.

Also one more picture:

Those are socks on his back, if it's not clear. He'll walk around with them on without minding it at all. Isn't he silly?

Notes and Notes

2008-04-24T20:23:59Z

There's a Staples opening up across the street from me next Saturday (on May 3) and I am horribly excited about it. I'll be able to go across the street now and look at OFFICE SUPPLIES!! And all this organizational stuff and just pens and paper and thingies you put things in and notebooks and all sorts of shinies.

This is probably not a good thing.

I wonder what it says about me.

Anyway, Anita Blake has been reordered and should be here soon. This is also probably not a good thing.

Geekiness.

2008-04-23T06:54:42Z

I just ordered this

It will be coming in the mail hopefully by the end of the week. And then I'll be able to bring it to my D&D session on Sunday.

No. I'm not evil.

Okay. Maybe a little.

kippurbird @ 2008-04-22T10:54:00

2008-04-22T18:03:06Z

Stolen from ranka

Based entirely on my personality, hunt down a "played by" who you think would best represent me. Reply here with the picture or link.

kippurbird @ 2008-04-21T19:04:00

2008-04-22T02:05:36Z

The question of the day. How can you molest state property? Or more exactly, rocks and dirt. I went for a walk earlier and I saw a sign that said no trespassing or molesting state property and behind the sign on the fence were dirt and rocks and nothing at all molestable. A very... odd thing, I think.

kippurbird @ 2008-04-20T14:36:00

2008-04-20T22:00:27Z

Passover is being Passover. Seder last night. My dad's cousin Bobby's wife Irene was very gracious. She made several empty gestures in offering to help with the dishes and things. My dad's other cousin, Mark (it was all his family)'s wife Harold didn't offer to help but she did spend a bit of time in the kitchen talking to us my mom and me.

It was very interesting between the two cousins. Bobby and Irene came with a bag of goodies: two boxes of matzah, two bottles of Manshevits' wine, and a bottle of grape juice. They made sure to point out everything they brought, including the fact that the matzah was made in Israel. The thing, however, was that we have the exact same boxes of matzah in the house because they were cheap.

Mark and Harold brought a chocolate (dark chocolate) Seder plate for dessert. They smiled and handed it over saying that it was for us. They also had a bottle of wine. They just gave it to us without pointing it out that they were giving it to us.

Interesting, I thought.

I've been thinking too much...

2008-04-18T06:25:54Z

Girl Genius musing.

I was rereading some of Girl Genius last night.

I always liked the bit with Agatha on the Airship when she first meets Gil. As I read I came upon this page:

Notice that Klaus says that he hasn't seen his wife in years. This is the first and only time that his wife is mentioned. However it got me thinking. Where is his wife? And who could she be?

We know that she's not on Castle Wolfenbauch, because then Klaus would be able to see her more often. So, she's obviously on ground somewhere. Now "years" isn't an exact time. It could mean any amount between say four and Gil is about nineteen. So, that's a pretty good gap of time. Gil never mentions his mother. So either, he's not worried about her and sends her letters, or he doesn't know about her.

Looking at this page, when Klaus is talking to Punch and Judy

He says he's been gone for a few years, Gil looks to be about two here, so say he's been gone for about four years and assume that he hasn't seen his wife since. So, that would lead credence to the theory that she's off somewhere and Gil doesn't know about her.

Many pages later, Klaus and Zeetha meet.

Klaus recognizes her, with the very obvious "You!". Also he knows Zeetha's language, much to her surprise. Their conversation seems to be:

Zeetha: You know about Skiff?
Klaus: Yes, I know about Skiff.

And before he can say anything else, he's cut off.

Agatha knows about Skiffander from her uncle's stories and Klaus was most definitely apart of those, so it's logical that he could have gone back there after a time. Especially if he met a lovely young woman.

Once Klaus and Gil get to Mechanicsberg, Klaus tells him to beware of a green haired woman.

The reasoning why Zeetha might want to kill Gil is because Klaus kept him alive. Now the only reason why that might be so, is if Gil was known to Zeetha's people. As Gil was only a wee one when Klaus returned to Europa, he was born somewhere else. And if he's wanted dead in Skiffander, then it's likely that he was born there, and Klaus's wife is there.

Thus, I believe that Klaus' wife and Gil's mother is of the Skiffander. At least from the evidence that I've seen here.

kippurbird @ 2008-04-17T13:56:00

2008-04-17T21:05:20Z

I had a weird dream last night.

Something happened to Donna (from Dr.Who) that sent her back in time and made her into a Time Lord and Rose.

No, I don't get it.

kippurbird @ 2008-04-16T23:07:00

2008-04-17T06:15:42Z

Sign number 8723 that I need a new computer at work:

It doesn't have a USB port. It has a floppy disk drive, but not a USB port.

Which means that I can't use the scrolling pen copy word device thingy which downloads the scanned in information by a USB cable. Which means I can't go and scan in all the really ancient books that need to be cataloged (or at least identified) before we up and move.

Solution: Get me a new computer.

Likelihood of that happening: Slim to none.

In other news, Evil Bitch From Hell may or may not be coming back from family leave.